capacity

[ca·pac·i·ty]-

-the maximum amount that something can contain.

-the ability or power to do, experience, or understand something.

we all have one.

our own natural and finite limitations.

that certain "storehouse" with a little bit of overflow room that slowly but surely, or seemingly quickly reaches its max.

and these bones they just grow weary.

and the physical lists and lists in my mind are filling up way too much space.

and it feels like i'm just running out.

of strength.
and space.
and patience.

and a way to get it all done,

but more importantly,
a way get it all done right, and beautifully, and whole-hardheartedly.

and there's a place for prioritizing.

and budgeting our time and obligations.

but sometimes with the season comes the demand that just cannot be altered,

and the supply just doesn't seem to cut it.

and just like the hard drive that I'm writing this on,

my personal hard drive is. just. full.

and it feels just nearly impossible some days.

especially when all i look at is my lack.

lack of time,

and space,

and energy.

and sleep.

and moments to just sit back and breathe a little bit.

and of course.

He whispers loud to the soul.

and it's not just the words, but the way that He says them.

[[your capacity in Me is far greater than you realize]].

and the realization comes.

i'm no longer marked, stunted, held back by and defined by

my own natural ability and power.

because the truth is,

"in [Jesus] the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and [i] have been filled in Him, who is the head of all rule and authority' (colossians 2:9-10).

and when i realize and remember that i contain the One who cannot be contained, inside of me,

His infinite, limitless capacity becomes my own,

and i tap into something completely outside myself.

and suddenly i'm living 2 Corinthians 12:8-10. seeing the fleshing out of the word because the Word become flesh now takes up residence in me.

And what better hope do we have?

than the reality that His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

and it crushes the lie that He sees my weakness as failure.

when really He says,

here. in this place of desperation. inability.
this is where your victory lies.

because this is where the proud are humbled and humble are exalted.
and He takes His rightful place in our hearts, and minds and souls.


and so i come back to the place of living this REST.
with the Lord of the Sabbath living in me.

with His burden and His yoke upon me, amazed at how light and easy it really is.


because knowing the reality of His presence and Spirit within me,
and owning it are two totally different things.

and i breathe deep.
for what feels like the first time since who knows when.